Happy Birthday, Dad.

Good morning everyone.  It was really hard for me to write this post. Life was so different this time last year.  It’s March 21 and it’s also my father’s birthday.  He would have been 63 years old today.  When grieving we can be going along and everything seems to be okay.  Then out of nowhere, grief hits you in full force.  The hardest part of healing after you’ve lost a loved one is to recover the “you” that went away with them too.  Its been almost several months since my dad entered the gates of Heaven and the pain still hasn’t gone away…I’m just learning to make room for it.

But then there’s a special kind of feeling when I think about my dad. The special memories, his jokes, his love for food.  He was caring and selfless.  I miss being able to get advice from him too…I often wonder what he would say now.

I wanted to honor my dad on his birthday by styling one of his dress shirts.  My dad had a thing for button ups.  Back in the day, I would help pick them out whenever we would go shopping.  He wasn’t afraid of color and loved stripes and plaid!  He was open to almost anything. Now you guys know where I get it from!  Fun fact: I tried to incorporate the roses somehow for this shoot because my dad liked roses. Growing up, my dad used to take my sister and I to the park on his days off.  Our pre-internet days, spent at the rose garden.  We even had photoshoots at the rose garden with my dad’s camera and everything! Oh what I would give to relive those moments again.

At times when I would get lonely, there’s always this comforting feeling that I get whenever I hold/wear my dad’s clothes.  It’s like  getting an invisible hug from him.  There will always be a place somewhere within my heart that only my father can own.

Oh, Dad.  There’s never a day that goes by that I don’t look at your picture and smile.  Or cry.  Or both.  Happy Birthday in heaven. 💛

 

Photos by Arabela Espinoza

Here’s what I’m wearing // and other options

My Dad’s shirt // Asos Relaxed Boyfriend Shirt
Zara Customized Jeans // Waven Aki Boyfriend Jeans
BaubleBar Piñata Tassel Drops // BaubleBar Artemis Tassell Drop Earrings Dolce Vita Howie Sandal (this color is sold out) // Dolce Vita Howie Sandal
Zara White Perforated Tote (sold out) // Urban Expressions Perforated Tote